Bullet-Ins

•  I haven’t been to a Staples recently to check this out, but I wonder if a memorable part of my childhood is gone forever.  Sometime in the sixth grade, I bought my first 3-ring binder.  I filled it with three-holed, lined  looseleaf paper. Before that, I used the standard bound notebook.  I remember Mrs. Singer going from desk to desk checking the homework in my notebook.  But later, when each subject was taught by a different teacher, you needed divisions of the subjects because you handed in your homework sheets and re-inserted them when they were returned. The problem was that the holes would rip after you did this a few times. The solution? Those little lifesaver-shaped stamps you would paste over the holes to prevent ripping.  They were called “reinforcements”, and I spent a couple of hours each school year licking and pasting them, usually while watching a TV western. Do school kids still do that? 

•  I watch “Morning Joe” every weekday, and I’m going to do something despicable now.  I’m going to suggest a cast replacement.  I’ve never done it before, and it sickens me…well, maybe not. But I think it would improve the show. 

   Get rid of Mika.  Let her read the news or get her own talk show, but it’s a drag to see her so squirmy and stick-up-her-ass about Joe when he plays to his gang of stooges.  He eats it up, especially since he knows she can’t land a glove on him.  The solution? Get Joy Behar.  She showed on her now cancelled show that she can ad lib zingers, and she’s more informed than some of the GOP debaters.  More important, she can pierce through the grunts of that pen of hogs and go toe-to-toe with the host.  Test her out!

•  It’s holiday season, and you know what that means…another Weinstein Oscar attack!  Harvey will be pushing for a Best Actress for Michelle Williams as MM for My Week With Marilyn.  Not a chance.  Michelle Williams is sexier as herself than as Marilyn, who was unique.  Oh, she does the voice and the poses OK, but whenever she moves, you can see the difference.  Marilyn trained each body part to move in a separate direction, and the effect, especially when sheathed, was electric.  Sorry, Michelle, but you don’t pass the Flatbush garage calendar test.

   But the bigger disaster is Kenneth Branagh as Olivier.  With that pasty complexion and John C. Reilly schnozz?  Come off it!  Still, the only witty scene in the movie is when Branaugh does his eye makeup.  Each of Olivier’s eyebrows deserved a special Oscar of its own, and it was good to see them honored at last.   

             

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